Full Life, Good Death

Radio show on on home funeral, green burials, and the new MN law

2011-05-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

For a free download of the KFAI radio show Becky and I did with MN State Representative Carolyn Laine on home funeral, green burials, and the new law that gives Minnesotans more choices for caring for our own dead, go to http://rcpt.yousendit.com/1110522769/b30b198f524539954d7281c3b6807917 . This Health Notes show, hosted by Kinshasha Kambui, was rebroadcast last week with a live update from Rep. Laine. The link will be active until May 17, 2011.

Nancy

An Ancient Green Cemetery

2011-05-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

As Becky and I approach Kerameikos, we know it is different from the other archeological sites we had visited in Greece. It is the land that received many thousands of bodies for over 1500 years, the most important cemetery of ancient Athens. The earliest tombs date from the Early Bronze Age (2700-2000 BCE). Athenians continued burying their dead there until approximately the 6th century CE (Current Era).

On display in a small museum at the entrance are prehistoric grave offerings, tall urns that held ashes of the deceased, and archaic tombstones inscribed with expressions of grief over the loss of loved ones. One ornate chest is labeled ossuary, used where burial space was scarce. A body is buried in a temporary grave, and after some years the skeletal remains are removed and placed in the chest, making it is possible to store the remains of many people in a single tomb.

At the far end of one room stands a graceful life-sized statue of Nemesis, the spirit of divine retribution against those who succumb to hubris (arrogance before the gods). Becky and I marvel again at the powerful Godesses and human females depicted in ancient Greek art as well as the sculptors' skill in chiseling such realistic draped clothing.

The most interesting sign was about the Plague that struck in 430 BCE, killing thousands of Athenians. Physicians had no idea how to treat their patients and died themselves in large numbers. Each morning, the bodies were picked up, often near public fountains where the victims had tried to quench their terrible thirst. In violation of Athenian burial law, the corpses were dumped into a mass grave in Keramikos.

Outside the museum, sun-drenched and tree-shaded paths wind through ancient gavesites and the foundations of buildings and walls. (The Acropolis with its magnificent temple to Athena, is visible in the background.) Although we don't see any families lounging on the grass, my mother would have recognized this as a "fine and private place" for a picnic. Proponents of natural cemeteries can applaud Athens for maintaining this prime real estate as a public green space. Of course, Kerameikos was also green in the environmental sense: no embalming fluids, metal caskets, or concrete burial vaults went into the earth here. The cemetery, however, was full of marble tombstones, which contemporary green burial grounds do not include.

Once again, I'm reminded of "time's winged chariot hurrying near." Whether we succumb to hubris or live humbly, remorseless Nemisis pushes us toward the grave. May we drink deeply from the fountain and love our dear ones while we can.

Nancy

Becky's article just published

2011-04-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

Becky has an article in the premier issue of Natural Transitions Magazine on how a few citizens from the Minnesota Threshold Network with no funding and little legislative experience managed to change Minnesota state funeral law.

This first issue of Natural Transitions Magazine features beautiful graphics, interesting stories, and excellent resources on the home funeral movement and green burial movement in the US and other countries. To subscribe visit http://www.naturaltransitionsmagazine.com/. To link to a preview, or buy a single issue, visit www.magcloud.com/browse/Issue/171570

Photo at Minnesota State Capitol, April 6, 2010. L to R: Heather Halen, Marianne Dietzel, Nancy Manahan, Rep. Carolyn Laine, Becky Bohan, Kim Pilgrim.

Lynn Redgrave’s Eco-coffin

2010-08-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

Great Britain is way ahead of the United States, when it comes to green burial practices. Dotting the countryside from Devon to Yorkshire are 240 green cemeteries, free of toxic embalming fluids, metal coffins, and concrete vaults.

For twenty years The Natural Death Centre has educated British consumers about funeral choices outside the mainstream. NDC, which helped create the network of English woodland burial sites and runs the Association of Natural Burial Grounds, believes that “death lies at the heart of our humanity . . . and that if we so wish, we [can] face it on our own terms without the mediation of a doctor, priest or funeral director.”

The Natural Death Centre plans to investigate “new technologies to replace gas cremators, . . . to increase the dialogue between palliative care and the funeral industry, to assist our colleagues in other countries to achieve what the NDC has achieved, to hold the spiritual middle ground between fundamental religion and fundamental atheism and to continue to challenge the taboos surrounding death.” I love this vision for the future of the home funeral/green burial movement.

In the US, organizations like the Funeral Consumers Alliance and the Green Burial Council are infusing a new ethic into the funeral industry, one rooted in transparency, accountability, and ecological responsibility.
A recent example of an eco-funeral was that of Oscar-nominated actress Lynn Redgrave, who requested a bamboo coffin made by the British Fair Trade company, Ecoffins. Bamboo, unlike regular wood, is highly sustainable; it regenerates rapidly after harvesting -- no replanting necessary. Ecoffins made from bamboo, willow, banana leaf, and pine are available in the US from Final Footprint, the company that provided Lynn Redgrave’s coffin, pictured above ($420 plus delivery).

In Minneapolis, there will be a free screening of an award-winning documentary film about the conscious death and inspiring home funeral of an environmental activist August 25 at Southdale Public Library at 7pm. At his request, Jack Heckelman’s plain pine coffin was built by his niece. For more details, visit the Minnesota Threshold Network blog.

Photo of Redgrave by Annabel Clark, http://www.redgrave.com/

Honor the Earth in Life and Death

2010-04-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

In honor of Earth day April 22, 2010, Twin Cities Naturally magazine asked me to write about green funerals. To give you a flavor, here's a clip from "Honor the Earth in Life and Death" with thanks to my wife for the best line in the piece. Spot it?

"Our generation has led the way in so many areas--civil rights, home births, holistic health care, and the environmental movement. Now we can expand our thinking from living green to leaving green."

To read the short article, click here.

Nancy

Cemeteries and Picnics

2010-03-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

“Kids, look, there’s the cemetery where we would stop when I was a girl."

We would look out the backseat car window to the grassy graveyard where Mom was pointing.

"The trip to Rochester used to take so long that when the weather was nice, we would rest here and have a picnic.”

My mother said this every time my father drove us past the roadside cemetery on the two-hour drive to see our Rochester, Minnesota, relatives or visit the Mayo Clinic.

As little girl, I was horrified. Eating among the gravestones seemed like a creepy custom from another country and another century.

"Mom, how could you eat on top of all those dead people?!"

“Oh, it was lovely!” she would reply. “The cemetery was halfway between Madelia and Rochester, so sometimes Aunt Daisy and Uncle Louie would meet us here. We’d put a blanket on the grass, and after sandwiches and lemonade, Uncle Louie and Papa would smoke and take a nap. Later Mama and I would go back to Rochester for a few days' visit, and Papa would return home alone.”

My mother's fond recollections didn't mean much to me then, but as I got older, I found myself drawn to cemeteries. Not to picnic, as my mother did in the 1920s, but to walk and reflect. Cemeteries are havens for birds, flowers, big trees, and human history. They touch me deeply.

For fifteen years, I lived two blocks from a 50-acre historic cemetery in Napa, California. I often walked at Tulocay, marveling at the opulent Victorian mausoleums and grave markers, some over a century old. It was a soothing place to sort out life's challenges and see my problems from a larger perspective.

Now my wife and I make our home in Minnesota and in Mexico. Our Minneapolis home is ten minutes from the posh 250-acre historic Lakewood Cemetery, where we can stroll for hours. In our home town of Madelia, my sister’s farm abuts the cemetery where our relatives are buried. When Becky and I stay at my sister’s, we often walk amidst the markers, recognizing names from our childhood.

Our Isla Mujeres, Mexico, condo is two blocks from the little local cemetery. White plaster grave-houses bear names, dates, and pictures of the deceased. There's even the tombstone of a famous pirate bearing the sobering inscription, "As you are now, so I once was. As I am now, so you will be."

At the beginning of November, Mexicans celebrate Día de los Muertos, Day of the Dead. People wash and sweep their family’s grave-houses, decorate them with flowers, bring their loved ones’ favorite dishes, and eat the meal by the graves, as my mother's family did so long ago.

Rather than seeming quaint or creepy, this custom now feels admirable. Breaking bread among the graves is a way to normalize death, to nourish the connections between the living and our loved ones who have passed before us, and to enjoy the bounty of life in a beautiful and sacred setting.

Now that spring is almost upon us, Becky and I are thinking of having a little picnic with my mother. We'll bring her favorites: egg salad sandwiches, lemonade, and brownies. Skoal, Mom!

*****************

For a fascinating cultural history of cemeteries, from the first landscaped garden cemetery (Pere Lachaise in Paris), to the burial place of Louisa May Alcott, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry David Thoreau (Sleepy Hollow in Massachusetts), to today’s natural conservation cemeteries in Britain and America, click here.

5 Tips for Going Out Green

2010-02-10T11:00:00.000-08:00

You recycle. You replace conventional light bulbs with energy-saving bulbs. You turn down the heat and avoid using air conditioning. You buy local, organic produce. You walk or bike, and you may even own a fuel-efficient car.

But have you considered the carbon footprint of your final act on earth? As in your funeral?

Conventional funeral practices are not usually “green.” Embalming fluids, hardwood and metal caskets, concrete vaults, and the gasoline, pesticides, and herbicides required to maintain a traditional cemetery are not environmentally-friendly. In addition to being better for the environment, green funerals usually cost much less than “traditional” funerals.

Green cemeteries have opened in the UK and Europe, with the US starting to follow suit. Click here for a list. If you live far one of the few natural burial grounds in this country, you still can minimize the environmental impact of your final leave-taking if you follow these tips.

1. AVOID EMBALMING. Let your body return to the earth naturally, without toxic chemicals.

2. AVOID METAL OR HARDWOOD CASKETS. Cooperate, instead of interfering with, the natural process of decomposition. Choose a pine, bamboo, jute, or cardboard casket, or simply have a shroud.

3. AVOID concrete gave liners (vaults). They’re not required by law. They are simply standard practice in conventional cemeteries.

4. If there is no conservation cemetery nearby, ask your local cemeteries about a natural burial area. Many are designating space to meet the growing demand for green burials.

5. If natural burial is not feasible, choose cremation. Although burning requires fossil fuels and may release mercury and other toxic chemicals into the environment, cremation is much greener than conventional embalming and burial practices.

You can also investigate a new technology: Resomation. This is an alkaline hydrolysis process that takes about the same time as cremation but uses less energy, produces less CO2, and avoids putting mercury and other contaminants into the atmosphere. It returns the body to its organic components, leaving only a white ash and nutrient-rich water, which could fertilize a memorial tree. Resomation is currently offered in only a few places in North America, including the Mayo Medical School's body-donor program in Minnesota.

No matter which way you want to go, those who will make decisions for you should know your final wishes. Put your instructions in writing. Discuss them with your family and friends. A funeral directive can be part of your Health Care Directive, which we all should have. There are free downloadable forms on line. One that we like, “Five Wishes,” is comprehensive and walks step by step through excellent questions. It’s available here.

So the next time you take out the newspapers and cans, imagine how you want to conduct your final act of recycling. Act now so that, when the time comes, you can Go Out Green.

For more information about green burial, see the New York Times article “Home Burials Offer an Intimate Alternative,” read Grave Matters by Mark Harris, or read Going Out Green by Bob Butz.

Your Last Carbon Footprint

2009-11-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

You recycle, you use canvas bags at the grocery store, you conserve water, you don’t put chemicals on your yard, and you drive a hybrid vehicle. Would you like to reduce the carbon footprint of your life’s final ritual as well? Tips on how to do exactly that are in a 4-minute CBS feature story on home funerals and green burials in the Philadelphia area. CBS interviewed members of Natural Undertaking, a Pennsylvania resource center for home funeral care. The 20-second discussion among the news anchors at the end of the story is priceless.

The Next Step

2009-10-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

Last year at the Midwest Independent Publishers Association Book Awards ceremony, Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully won first place in the Health category. After accepting our award in front of 300 publishers, booksellers, and authors and getting gold stickers for our books, Nancy and I were given the envelope of scoring sheets and comments from the judges. Our mouths dropped open when we read, "This book deserves a mainstream publisher and a national audience."

We hadn't considered going mainstream, but the judge's comment was a catalyst. We didn't do anything for a while, but then our friend Mary Treacy O'Keefe, author of Thin Places (also published by Beaver's Pond Press), started nudging us: Find an agent! You need to get to a big publisher! Find an agent! Call Larry Dossey and ask him who his agent is!

Eventually we contacted Larry Dossey, M.D., who had already written a beautiful blurb for our back cover, and he recommended a literary agent in northern California --Barbara Deal, owner of Literary Associates. Although she wasn't taking on any new projects, once she read Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully, she agreed to take us on.

We've been waiting out the economic crisis, but now that publishers are again buying manuscripts, Barbara thinks the time is right. So we wrote a book proposal for her to present to publishing houses. By the time we finished this 30-page description of our book, the market, the competition, and our passion for sharing Diane's story, even WE were impressed!

Last week, ten packets went out to ten publishers. If one of them likes the book, there could be a revised, expanded edition published by this time next year. We're keeping our fingers crossed. We hope that Diane's inspiring story can take the next step in reaching a much wider audience!

Lessons from a Hospital Chaplain

2009-10-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

The current issue of Spirituality & Health: The Soul/Body Connection features an article entitled “What is a Good Death: A Hospital Chaplain Reflects on the Lessons from Her Patients.” One thing that attracted Karen Rushen to the spiritual care of the sick and dying was wanting “to know why some people appeared to have a ‘better death’ than others, passing from this life with less fear, pain, and resistance than other people.” She also wanted to look at her own “worst nightmares about sickness, pain, and end of life . . . .”

Rushen shares several experiences from her years with dying patients, from newborns to the elderly. My favorite story is of an elderly woman dying of cancer. Her husband sat by her hospital bed, “sobbing pitifully for days on end. Finally he fell asleep from exhaustion, and that’s when his wife passed away. Yet when he woke up, he was calm upon finding out that his wife had died, telling the staff that he had just had a very powerful dream in which his wife assured him that she loved him, and that she was in a wonderful place, waiting for him to join her someday.”

Rushen ends her reflections by observing that her job has taught her that “each day is precious, that health is not to be taken for granted, and that the most horrendous suffering can contain gifts and life lessons.” She also found that by facing her own fears squarely and by daring to ask herself and others some of “life’s most daunting questions,” she “experienced a profound clarity” around her own life’s purpose.

We don’t have to become a hospital chaplain or a hospice volunteer to learn these lessons. We can learn from any of the many wonderful books available on what to expect and how best to prepare for our own death or that of a loved one, books such as Susan Dolan’s End of Life Advisor, the recently published Jane Brody’s Guide to the Great Beyond, David Kessler’s The Needs of the Dying, and Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ classic On Death and Dying. This 1969 publication started the whole cultural shift toward dealing with death more openly. My copy (cost: $1.95) may have started me on a path that forty years later, led to becoming a home funeral activist.

We can also study contemporary spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Stephen Levine, and the Dali Lama, or go back to one of my all time favorite books, the 2nd century Roman classic, Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.

We can watch movies that neither avoid nor romanticize death, films such as . . . oh, that’s a topic for another day. Meanwhile, carpe diem!

Nancy

Nancy in a Pulpit

2009-10-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

One of the last places I expected to find myself was behind a raised pulpit, looking out over a congregation. I had been sitting in the sanctuary during the prayers and hymns. Now I stood for my sermon. Yes, my sermon.

I left the Catholic church when I was 21 and haven’t attended any denomination’s services except for an occasional wedding or funeral. I have something like an allergic reaponsevto church services. Had I actually agreed to speak at Birmingham Unitarian Church in Michigan?

Thankfully, sitting behind me, waiting to take her turn in the pulpit, was our friend and church member Susie Symons. Susie, featured in Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully, had made the arrangements, and would deliver her half of the sermon next.

The week before, at Hospice Volunteer Services of Vermont. I felt comfortable, articulate, even inspired. Afterwards, as we gathered up the few books we didn’t sell, I told Becky, “This was so enjoyable we really ought to give more presentations.”

But in front of the Unitarians my inspiration vanished. I felt shaken in a way I don’t normally before an audience. I opened my mouth and out came a croak. I cleared my throat, coughed, and finally managed a hoarse sentence. I plunged forward, gaining confidence. But three minutes into my remarks, I remembered that this was NOT the moment for my sermon. I was supposed to have read a poem first. Only after Susie had read a second poem, was my sermon to begin.

At my chagrined glance, Susie waved for me to continue. When I finished, she stepped to the pulpit and shared both her poem and the story of Diane’s impact on her. Susie, who had confided how nerve-wracking public speaking was for her, gave the most eloquent, beautiful sermon.

In the social hall after the service, church members were warm, gracious, and generous in the personal experiences they shared with Becky and me and in the number of our books they bought. Then Susie and her husband John Glick (a world-famous potter who made ceramic containers for Diane's ashes) took us home for a fabulous Italian lunch, never once mentioning my rattled performance. John took the above photo of Becky, Susie, and me in their back yard. True friends, pictured here.

Nancy

Our Joy of Giving

2009-09-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Becky and I gave 200 copies of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond to the Breast Cancer Awareness Association (BCAA) of Minnesota, enough so that each participant in the 8th annual Living with Breast Cancer conference can have a copy. (To register for this free October 3, 2009, conference at the Minneapolis Convention Center, click here.) Last year, we also donated copies to BCAA, and responses from recipients indicate that Bill and Diane Manahan’s story benefited them deeply.

Last month, I did something I’ve never done before. Since we were attending the week-long Manahan family reunion in Stowe, Vermont, Becky and I had offered to speak at Hospice Volunteer Services in nearby Middlebury. Bill and Diane’s daughter-in-law Kate Manahan (shown here with Diane), who recently completed hospice volunteer training in Maine, joined us. The hospice Executive Director anticipated 10-15 people would attend, but 30 volunteers and nurses showed up, some of them from hospices an hour away. These women and men were riveted by Diane’s story, crying and laughing right along with the three of us. At the end of our presentation, I said that anyone who bought a book could take a free copy for a hospice, hospital, library, or family of their choice. More books went out the door that afternoon than at any other presentation we’ve given, almost 50 copies.

For the second printing of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully last year, we ordered 1000 extra copies so that we and Bill would have plenty to give away. We didn’t anticipate how rewarding those gifts would be nor how many cancer conferences, hospices, home-death groups, authors of books about death and dying, public libraries, and random acquaintances we’d connect with. We’ve donated more books than we ever imagined. Diane Manahan, a passionate community activist and philanthropist, would be delighted to see her story reaching so many people, supporting their ability to live more consciously and, when the time come, to die more gracefully.

A few months ago, Becky and I offered a complimentary copy to anyone whose personal end-of-life story is posted on http://www.nanbec.com/. So far, we have received only one story. We thought that the July 2009 New York Times front-page article on home funerals, which mentioned the book (and in the online edition, linked to our website), would spur submissions. Although Amazon.com ranking shot up —Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully became an overnight best-seller in the categories of holistic health, women’s issues, and death and grief—we didn’t receive a single story. The offer is still open. If you have a friend or family good-death story or know someone who does, please contact us: nanbec@nanbec.com.

Similarly, if you know a cancer center, hospice, grief group, or public library that could use a copy of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond, let us know the address, and we will donate a book in your name. Becky and I appreciate your support for our ongoing joy in sharing our sister-in law Diane Manahan's extraordinary and inspiring story!

Nancy

“Departures,” A Sublime Film

2009-07-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

“Departures,” the winner of the 2009 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, is an inspiring glimpse into Japan’s cultural heritage of caring for a body after death.

When a young Tokyo cellist loses his orchestra job, he and his wife move back to his hometown. He answers a classified ad entitled “Departures,” thinking it’s a travel agency only to discover that the job involves washing and casketing bodies. Daigo overcomes his initial revulsion and comes to love the reverential ceremonies, which are transformational for the families involved . . . and eventually for him and his wife.

“Departures” beautifully depicts an approach to death that could teach our culture much. It shows an option between conventional Western funeral practices and caring for our own at home. Although Daigo and his teacher wash and dress the body, they work quietly in the deceased person’s home with the family surrounding their loved one during the entire ritual. There is no embalming. Shocking, funny, and profoundly moving things happen during this process.

Anyone interested in threshold work, spiritual openings, personal transformations, or exquisite filmmaking will enjoy “Departures.” To see a trailer of the film, click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaFRCLAYEF0.

Alison's Gift

2009-05-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

When my sister-in-law had terminal-stage breast cancer, she and my brother read a book that changed their lives.

Alison’s Gift is the true story of a seven-year old killed by an air bag in a slow-speed collision. Her mother, Beth Knox, knew that when Alison was disconnected from life-support, she did not want a mortician to take charge. She wanted to bring Alison home, continue caring for her, share her grief, and give Alison’s brothers, grandparents, and friends time to say goodbye.

The hospital said it could not release Alison to her mother’s care. They eventually allowed an undertaker to transport the body home. As Beth learned later, the hospital was wrong; she had the legal right to take Alison home in the van in which she had driven her daughter to school each day.

For the next three days, Alison lay on her own bed. Friends and family members talked and sang to her, prayed and meditated, or just sat quietly, saying goodbye. Several of Alison’s Waldorf School classmates came, and even though some parents were apprehensive about letting them see a body, the children seemed quite comfortable. Spending time with their friend, far from being frightening or creepy, allowed them so experience death as a real and normal part of life.

As a result of this experience, Beth founded Crossings: Caring for Our Own at Death, a national non-profit educational organization. In workshops around the country, she teaches people how to care for a body at home, choose a final resting place, and understand the applicable laws in each state. (For a 3-minute Frontline You Tube story on home funerals featuring Beth Knox, click here.)

Just as the home birth movement has given families more control over birth, the home death movement, which Beth helped found, encourages families to take more control over the other big transition, returning death care to its rightful place as a last sacred family act of love.

My brother and sister-in-law, Bill and Diane Manahan, liked this idea. They ordered a home funeral kit from Crossings. In addition to instructions for after-death care, the kit contained essential oil of lavender for washing the body, a length of white silk cloth to drape over it, and candles. (Although this kit is no longer sold, a Handbook for Home Funeral Care is available for purchase or as a free pdf download at http://www.crossings.com/.)

My spouse Becky Bohan and I were with Diane when she died. I helped bathe and dress her body, hold a vigil, accompany her body to the crematorium, and bring her ashes back home for her life celebration three days later. Becky had a mystical experience at the moment of Diane's death and a joyful visit from Diane several hours later. These profound experiences led us to write Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond, which has won six regional and national book awards and affected readers in ways similar to the impact Alison’s Gift had on our family.

Last month, when Becky and I were in Maryland, we spent an afternoon with Alison's mother. We liked Beth Knox immensely. She is an ideal home funeral educator -- warm, practical, visionary, and passionate about the environment. She told us about the remarkable deaths last year of her mother and her husband’s father, who died peacefully at home, and who requested and received a home funeral.

Following Beth’s lead, our local Minnesota Threshold Network offered a free public information session on home deaths and green, eco-friendly burials in Minneapolis this month. Resources, including Alison’s Gift, were available.

If readers of this blog know of someone who is interested in caring for their own at death, please extend an invitation to read this inspiring book, join the Crossings listserv, and learn from the experiences of Alison and her extraordinary mother.

Nancy

Book Buzz!

2009-03-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

What's the best thing that can happen to a book?

Buzz!

Many a small title has burst onto the best seller list because of a groundswell of interest. How does that happen? An outstanding book? Inspiration? Perspiration? Luck?

Recently 15 authors from Beaver's Pond Press met at the Edina Public Library to share ideas for generating groundswells of interest in our books.
Several suggestions emerged:

Always carry copies of your book with you. Hold one in your hand whenever possible, for example, as you wait to board an airplane. Ask the flight attendant to show it and announce that the author is on board with signed copies. Sales can happen anywhere. And once you're in the air, you don't have to charge sale's tax!
Contribute to blogs.
Check out on-line resources for Building the Buzz, e.g. Writing-World.com.
Contact local newspapers and cable TV to pitch a story idea. They want more than just "local author publishes book." They are looking for an interesting or informative angle to snag readers.
Send review copies to the media. Alternatively, you can send sell sheets or postcards asking if they would like a review copy so you don't waste freebies on people who aren't interested.
Set up an appealing website and maximize traffic to your site. This is a whole topic in and of itself... especially important for those who are not tech-savvy.
Set up readings and presentations at bookstores and libraries. A marketing rep can help you, or you can do it on your own by calling and visiting bookstores that might be interested in your book. Try to get media attention before the event.
Think outside the bookstore! Give presentations to organizations connected to your topic. The people who attend are more likely to buy your book.
Write articles for magazines (paper or on-line) and get magazines to excerpt parts of your book.
Be generous in giving away copies to people who could be good promoters of your book.

Meeting with other authors is a great way to get ideas and support. Once a book is in print, don't put up your feet and wait for readers to discover your title. The ongoing creative work of creating buzz has just begun!!!

On the Move!

2009-03-09T08:08:00.001-07:00

A literary agent has agreed to represent Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully to mainstream publishers. We are honored and thrilled by her belief that Diane's story deserves a larger publisher and a national audience. She advises waiting a few months until the economy starts to move in a positive direction before making any moves. Like most businesses, publishers are hunkering down right now.

Meanwhile, we continue to promote the book. We recently shipped a boxful (52 count) to Michigan psychotherapist Susie Symons, whose story about after-death communication with Diane appears in Chapter 19 of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully. She will give the book to friends and patients as appropriate. We are grateful for Susie's continuing support.

Nancy has been on the phone and emailing up a storm trying to set up presentations in the Washington, D.C. area for our visit in April and early May. Thanks for Bill, we have arranged with the American Holistic Medical Association to deliver books to their spring conference at the Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.) center in Virginia Beach, home of the Edgar Cayce Institute. We are excited to get Diane's story into the hands of integrative physicians and people interested in metaphysical studies. The huge A.R.E. Bookstore has agreed to carry Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully.

Our application for a booth was accepted by the Bloomington Art Center's annual Writers' Festival and Book Fair on March 21 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The festival will have lots of authors, books, and workshops. It's a chance for the public to meet and talk to authors and to get signed copies at a good price. We look forward to being there and doing a ten-minute reading. You are all invited!

Sharpening Our Focus

2009-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

When we set up this blog over two years ago, we envisioned it as a place to share what's happening with our book, Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond, as well as issues and ideas dealing with end of life and green burials.

Over time, the blog has morphed into more of a personal journal with occasional references to our book and end-of-life issues. While straying off the purpose has its merits, we feel it is time to refocus.

Therefore we have decided to use a second blog--nanbec.blogspot.com--to share our travel stories, musings, and personal adventures.

We'll keep this blog for more book-related topics, including reports of what's happening with the Minnesota Threshold Network, a group of people interested in family-directed, natural, end-of-life transitions. We'll delete the more personal entries from this blog, but they will be available on the nanbec blog.

For those of you who receive this blog automatically via email, we will add you to our nanbec blog email list. We'll keep you signed up for this blog, too, but let us know if you prefer to receive just one or the other. We are sensitive to bulking up your email box and will be happy to delete you from the email list if you so desire.

So, without further ado, we invite you to read the first new entry in the blog, nanbec@blogspot.com!

Book News

2009-01-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

A year ago when we reprinted Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer, we decided to print an extra thousand copies to give away to hospices, cancer centers, and other groups that seemed appropriate. (Thanks, Carolyn Miller, our friend who put the idea into our heads!!) We have been rather slow to get books out, but late this fall we have really stepped up our activities.

In November we gave 350 books to participants of the Positive Aging conference at the University of Minnesota and sponsored by the Center for Spirituality and Healing. The next day we delivered 200 books to the U of M Women’s Health Center and the U of M Breast Center.

Three days before we left for Mexico, we realized that instead of sending just flyers to the Evidence-Based Complementary Cancer Care Conference in Florida to be held in January, we could send the actual books! Rather than pack our bags for Mexico, we stuffed and attached labels to 260 books, packed them up, and hauled them to the Post Office.

It feels very satisfying to be able to put Diane's story into the hands of people who might not otherwise see the book.

We are not, however, giving up on sales!

We have joined five other writers from Beaver’s Pond Press who sell books at various venues. Dubbed “The Color of Authors,” we’re an eclectic bunch, spanning the range of award-winning mysteries, body/mind/spirit , health, and children’s books. (Pictured left are Anne Pritchard, Becky, Nancy, Marilyn Jax, Frank Silva, and Colleen Baldrica. Not pictured is Lynne Eldridge.)

On Saturday, December 6, the day before we left for Mexico, we spent the afternoon at Buon Giorno, an Italian restaurant and wine bar in Mendota Heights. We loved being surrounded by bottles of fine vino from Italy and we even did a little tasting.

“The Color of Authors” is carrying on without us (but displaying our books) while we are gone. We look forward to rejoining them in February.

Becky & Nancy

John, a Light on My Path

2008-12-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

In the workshops and presentation that Nancy & I give based on our book Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond, we often ask participants: What makes a good death?

The answers include no pain, time to say good-bye, finishing one’s business, having those you love by your side, being free of anxiety, and being at peace.

These elements can be achieved when one is dying of disease and has the time to prepare consciously for the end, as Diane Manahan did. Her extraordinarily good death is one reason her story is so inspiring.

But what if a person does not have that time?

Last month an old friend from high school, John Osnes, stepped off the curb in Los Angeles one night, and within minutes he was lying on the pavement, having been beaten up and then run over in a road rage incident.

How could his death ever be considered a good death? That is was quick? That he didn’t linger in pain? Those aren’t very satisfactory answers. I don’t know that there are any.

A sudden death may be hardest on the loved ones, such as John’s beloved sister, Kris. How could this have happened? How can one go on when everything is changed?

Quickly come all the arrangements, the phone calls, the obituary, the finances, the notifications, the reality within the unreal situation. In a way, the tasks help loved ones get through the first few days and through the shock, but not through the grief. That will last a long, long time.

I am grateful to John Osnes for a friendship of long ago that was more important to me than I realized at the time. In our small rural Midwestern town, he was a gay teenager. He bravely wore his hair longer than any other guy in Madelia, sang beautifully, played the piano brilliantly, but was harassed by his schoolmates. I was a lesbian teenager, in love for the first time-- with his sister Kris. For a couple of years, John and I formed an unspoken bond in our isolation. Once, over pizza in the nearby “city” of Mankato, we confided our sexuality and our heartaches openly to each other.

Thank you, John, for who you were . . . and for being a light on my path.

Becky

P.S. For more information about John Osnes, visit http://www.johnosnes.com/.

WOW!

2008-05-12T07:29:00.001-07:00

Nancy & I are settling into being back home in Minneapolis. It feels luxurious to have the summer stretching out before us with no big commitments. Except for local events around Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully (like last week’s workshop for 100 Metro Area Hospice volunteers), we’re hanging up our book-touring shoes. We may go camping at Minnesota state parks, but mostly we’ll be home at the keyboard, in a hammock or on long, leisurely walks and bike rides along Minnehaha Creek and the Mississippi River. Life is sweet.

In looking over the entries of the past months, we realize that we’ve strayed from one purpose of this blog—news about what’s happening with the book. Sales of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond are slow but steady. We’ve been receiving a monthly check from our publisher for between $50 and $300.

More importantly, the book has won a number of awards this spring, including USA Book News Best Books of 2007, an Eric Hoffer Award, and a Midwest Independent Publishing Best Books Award.

But the award that might have pleased Diane Manahan the most is the WOW—Women on Writing—Award for Best Women’s Literature of 2008. Given that Diane was a champion of women and a writer herself, we think she would be thrilled by this recognition.

In addition to a $100 stipend, The WOW Award also included a gift pack. Nancy and I each received a pink tote bag with a baseball cap, a timer for writing exercises, and a shirt that say “Not now, I’m writing!” We love WOW’s whimsical website, devoted to the encouragement of women writers. Many thanks to Angela, Monica, and the others at WOW for the good work they do. It is important to hear women speaking in our own voices—in print, on television, in movies and politics, and on the Internet. Write on, sisters!!!

Green Funerals: Old Peruvian Style versus New Mayo Clinic Style

2008-02-21T08:31:00.000-08:00

We are spending a week in Lima, Peru visiting Nancy's brother Jim Manahan, who is on assignment here for four months. (More on that in another blog.)

We’ve made the rounds of several museums and historic sites including the Church of San Francisco built in 1674. This church is famous for its vast underground catacombs containing the bones of 75,000 people.

In this first cemetery of colonial Lima, bodies were laid in pits and covered with quicklime to hasten decomposition. We walked past boxes with femurs organized in herringbone patterns and deep pits with thousands of bones and skulls artistically arranged. Hundreds of skulls are stacked on shelves cut into the earthen walls.

Another museum in Lima contains twenty-five-hundred-year-old mummies from the pre-Inca era. Given the arid Peruvian climate, it was a perfect way to preserve bodies. Both the catacombs and the mummies are precursors to the modern concept of green funerals. (See below for our earlier blog, "Green Funerals 101.")

All this put us in a receptive frame of mind for an article we discovered in London’s prestigious newspaper, The Guardian. “What Really Happens When You Die?” features interviews with six professionals who handle corpses. They detail the procedures of autopsying, embalming, burying, and cremating a body--the modern ways of death.

The most interesting part of the article is a description of an environmentally-friendly alternative to conventional burial or cremation: resomation. According to Dean Fisher, the Director of the Mayo Clinic’s Body Donation Program, this new technique uses “water, potassium hydroxide and steam heat to dissolve the body.” What’s left at the end of the process is “nitrogen, phosphate, proteins, amino acids, salts and sugars,” the basic elements that comprise our bodies. Fisher says that this “innocuous fluid” can be “safely disposed of or used on land as a fertiliser”! The remaining bones are pulverized, as in cremation. There are no toxic emissions like mercury released into the atmosphere.

According to Fisher “there are only a few resomation chambers in operation in the world, all of them in the US” including one at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

This environmentally-friendly method of dealing with our bodies may be the wave of the future. For more information about this greener alternative to cremation and burial, visit Resomation Ltd. (For the full Guardian article, see http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/.)

Hundreds of years from now, North and South American tourists may pay to tour museums formerly known as cemeteries!

Green Funerals 101

2008-02-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

The publication of Diane’s book has opened the world of green funerals to us. Although our book doesn’t discuss green funerals, it does show a home death, the decision not to embalm, a family-arranged cremation, and a family-directed funeral.

A green funeral is one in which no embalming takes place and a body is buried without any toxic material being introduced to the earth, such as that found in standard coffins. A whole movement has sprung up in the past decade that advocates an environmentally friendly way of handling people’s remains.

I have become more and more interested in this type of burial for myself. Becky is not there yet, and has told me that she would prefer cremation—both her own and mine! I will bow to her wishes, of course, if I precede her in death (she doesn’t want to think of my body decaying in the earth). If I go second, well, I’ll see.

One of the best, most comprehensive articles I’ve read on environmentally-friendly funerals was posted 1/16/2008 in the on-line Cincinnati CityBeat. It includes interviews with mourners, ministers, and funeral directors. The journalist even considers the circumstances of gay and lesbian couples, something I haven’t seen in other reports on green funerals.

I’ve quoted two paragraphs below to give you taste. The second paragraph echoes my brother Bill Manahan's foreword in Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond.

Nancy

“Die the Way You Live: Befriending Death and Planning for the Inevitable” by Stephen Carter-Novotni

When local chiropractor Pamela Tickel´s husband Will passed away in 2006, she was convinced that he should be laid to rest in a way that honored their commitment to the environment and a natural lifestyle. Will, also a chiropractor, was buried without embalming or a vault at Ramsey Creek preserve in South Carolina, one of just a handful of green burial grounds in the U.S.

“When we had a home birth 25 years ago, people thought we were crazy, and now people are very accepting and interested,” Pamela says, explaining that even though green burial is foreign to most, her paradigm has shifted and contemporary burial practices seem odd to her now.

For the full article, click here.

Darien, Darius, and Floyd

2007-12-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

Amazing stories are bubbling up from readers of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully. On Christmas Eve Nancy & I had the honor of being interviewed on All About You, the blog radio show of Darien Marshall and Darius Jones from Philadelphia. As the program neared the end (you can listen to it here), our hosts told us about their friend Floyd who had suffered a stroke. They encouraged Floyd to read the book, and he was so inspired by Diane’s journey that he has started a support group for people with strokes, much as Diane had started a cancer support group in her hometown.

When we hear stories like this, we feel grateful that Diane’s book can inspire people to live more fully and (in her words) “more heartfully.” Diane would be thrilled to see the good works and deeds springing from her decision to be open about her whole cancer journey.

Becky

P.S. from Nancy:
Darien and Darius, who have never believed in guardian angels, have decided that Diane is now their guardian angel. Perhaps that’s because for the first time in their lives, they cried while reading a book.

Embracing Life

2007-12-18T15:57:00.000-08:00

A few years ago Nancy and I learned a lesson that speaks to the heart of Latin culture: It is more important to spend time with friends than to complete a task. A Costa Rican would never hesitate, as I did then, if a friend dropped by and said, "Come on, let's go see the new shop up the road!" The opportunity to be with a friend is precious and should be seized—not to avoid work, but to embrace life.

We were reminded of this lesson once again. We leave our home on Isla Mujeres, Mexico, tomorrow and we have a to-do list up to the ceiling. A friend is having a gathering at her house this afternoon and we have been saying for days “We’ll try to make it, but we have a lot of packing and last minute chores to do.” We have had workmen in and out for weeks, and just this morning we had the broken outside doorknob replaced.

As Nancy was readying an email with our regrets this morning, I said, “Wait. Remember what we learned in Costa Rica.” Nancy gave me a significant look, knowing just what I meant, and immediately changed the email to express our delight in attending.

Spending time with friends is more important than any to-do list. Chores will get done, and if not, the world goes on. No task is worth missing an afternoon deepening the connection with friends old and new.

Becky

From the Start Consider the Finish

2007-12-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

Question: What is the difference between palliative care and hospice care?

Answer: Palliative care offers pain and symptom management for people at any time during an illness. Hospice care seeks to ease pain and suffering for terminally ill patients.

This easy-to-understand explanation comes from the new book From the Start Consider the Finish: A Guide to Excellent End-of-Life Care (Outskirts Press, 2007). It’s a collection of true stories and practical advice written by attorney Susan R. Dolan and her clinical psychologist mother, Audrey R. Vizzard. Both authors are also nurses and hospice volunteers.

In 17 short chapters, they cover everything from Managing Pain and Funeral Plans to What It’s Like To Die. One of my favorite chapters, the Pleasure Diet, advises that terminal patients be allowed to eat whatever they want. That’s how one man who had stopped eating got his final wish: a tall, cold beer. “Ten minutes later that man died with a smile on his face” (84).

I found myself filled with admiration for Susan Dolan’s extraordinary mentor, Divina, a smart, tough, funny, and compassionate hospice nurse. I also admire Mollie, the social worker who threw herself over the body of a dead hospice patient to prevent paramedics from performing CPR until the DNR--Do Not Resuscitate--order was found under the kitchen table. (Becky and I recently learned that in some medical facilities, the term “DNR” is being replaced by “AND” -- Allow a Natural Death.)

“Doctors Are Human Too” was one of the saddest chapters for me. A usually decisive doctor agonized at her father’s hospital bedside over whether to remove his ventilator. When the author suggested hospice care, Dr. Lucie said that would feel as if she had failed. But she started to question all the times she had withheld hospice referrals from her patients, recommending instead one more aggressive treatment. Susan Dolan notes that many doctors “overestimate the length of time their patients have to live, thereby depriving them of the benefits of hospice” (79).

Dr. Lucie’s father had neglected to complete an advanced directive or have a conversation about how he wanted to be treated if he was unable to make decisions for himself. Most people avoid talking about their own death or making any plans for it. The authors reiterate the importance not only of written documents but of ongoing conversations with loved ones about our final wishes. Even one family member left out of this conversation could prevent removing life-support machines and allowing a natural death.

This book is a many-faceted gem, and I highly recommend it. For families who are considering hospice, this book will show them what to expect. The explanation of what each member of a hospice team does, including volunteers, physicians, chaplains, music therapists, and grief counselors, is invaluable.

Susan Dolan has an internet radio program called Reach MD aimed at medical professionals. She produced two fabulous 15-minute interviews with my brother Bill Manahan. M.D. about Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond. You’ll be able to download these interviews from the http://www.nanbec.com/ media page soon.

Nancy

Mystic Massage

2007-11-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

I was on the table yesterday under the hands of an extraordinary body worker. Nancy and I have gone to Maria Luisa Harmel of Isla Mujeres, Mexico, for years, and every massage is an adventure.

First Maria Luisa does away with the modesty sheet, so I am totally exposed. (She would use a sheet if I wanted one, but let me tell you, it is fabulous to do without!) Then she puts eucalyptus oil on her hands and holds them under my nose so I can breathe in the strong vapors of this medicinal plant. She rubs my scalp vigorously and then moves to the rest of my body.

For over an hour, Maria Luisa slathers on different oils for various areas of my body and rubs and kneads, vibrates and bends, stretches and pulls. As her hands fly from my shoulders to my ankles, I feel as if I were a piano and Maria Luisa the genius musician.

During her massages I almost always have a deep sense of my soul being just a resident in my body. My mind seems to zoom to the outer galaxies and I look back at this little speck of dust called Earth I feel so much love and joy for this home and for the physical form I am inhabiting for such a short time.

Not only do I walk (stagger) away from the massage totally relaxed, the knots rubbed out, the energy points revitalized, and my skin aglow, I also have a sense of profound spiritual wellbeing.

On that little rectangle of a table, my soul experiences a connection to the Infinite.

Becky

"A Deep, Deep Breath"

2007-11-14T12:35:00.000-08:00

We recently received an email we'd like to share with you. Sarah has given us permission to quote excerpts. Her response reaffirms the hopes that Nancy & I have for the book.

A few days ago a dear friend of mine handed me a copy of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond and said, "This might be helpful to you right now." Now that I've finished your book, I have to say that her words are an understatement.

I can't begin to tell you what an absolute blessing it is. My mom was diagnosed with appendiceal cancer in March and has had surgery, chemo treatment and now after only 6 weeks in remission, the cancer has returned. Our family has always been open to holistic healing, alternative medicine, and spiritual health, and to hear how Diane chose to live with her cancer brings me such encouragement and peace. This is exactly what I want my mom to know -- that she can choose how she wants to continue.

I'm so filled with gratitude for this book that I can't even begin to verbalize all the ways that it impacts me. Reading it was like taking a deep, deep breath. For the first time I feel like this entire experience is going to be exactly how it is supposed to be. My fears are slowly fading and being replaced by feelings of peace. And for that I am utterly grateful to both of you, to Diane, and to your entire family for being willing to share this experience.

In gratitude,
Sarah Fisher

Thank you, Sarah. Your words are an inspiration to us to continue our work!

Becky

Threshold Choirs

2007-11-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

A wonderful gift for the dying is quickly blooming around the country: it’s called the Threshold Choir—a small group of women who sing at the bedsides of people who are struggling: some with living, some with dying.

Founded in 2000 by Kate Munger in Marin County, CA, there are now choirs all over the world. The first national Threshold Choir Gathering near Healdsburg, CA in June drew 100 women from 40 choirs.

Becky & I were on our West Coast Book Tour at that time so I was able to attend. What a joy to harmonize beautiful, peaceful songs in a lovely chapel! Many of the songs are written by Threshold Choir members, so the choirs are outlets not only for singing, but for creative work.

Kate Munger spoke at a conference in Minneapolis last spring and now the Twin Cities has its own Threshold Choir. In fact, so many women have turned out that once we learn the basic repertoire, we’ll divide into 3 groups: St. Paul, Minneapolis, and western suburbs. Sometime in 2008, we’ll start accepting invitations to sing at bedsides of people at the threshold.

I’ll continue to share stories from the Threshold Choir, including the wonderful experience a friend’s mother had in her final days. I’m grateful to be part of a group whose mission is to bring comfort to the dying and their loved ones. For more information about Threshold Choirs, visit their web site.

Nancy

New Legislation Restricts After Death Care

2007-10-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to Richard Chin of the St. Paul Pioneer Press for his wonderful article of Oct. 14, “Keeping them close, one last time." We received positive feedback for the information about our family washing and dressing Diane after she died and accompanying her body to the crematorium.

A follow-up article by Richard Chin the next day focused on changes in Minnesota state laws, effective in August 2007, that make some of the experiences recounted in the “Keeping close” article illegal. These laws concern the preparation, viewing, and transportation of a body. All of them restrict the participation of family and friends in after-death care.

One change, for example, limits home viewing to immediate family members. If Diane had died today, only her husband Bill, children, and siblings would be able to view her unless she had written the names of others who could participate. Bill and Diane’s grandchildren, daughters-in-law, sisters and brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, and dear friends would all be excluded without this document.

According to the Pioneer Press article, the force behind this legislation is the mortuary industry. As Jessica Mitford described in shocking detail decades ago in The American Way of Death, death is big business, and mortuary professionals have lots of influence.

As more and more people are taking care of their dying family members at home, it is interesting to see the legislature erecting roadblocks to after-death care of loved ones. Those of us who view death as a natural family event and not a medical emergency and who believe that families should be able to chose the extent to which morticians are involved will need to challenge this new unnecessary and intrusive legislation.

Becky

The Holiness of the Everyday

2007-10-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my sister Vicki, Nancy, and I attended the 26th Annual Women & Spirituality Conference in Mankato, MN. Diane and Bill Manahan attended this conference many times during the 30 years they lived in Mankato. This year’s keynote speaker was Marge Piercy, author of 17 novels and several books of poetry. She spoke of the importance of transforming the language of the sacred since traditional prayers and liturgies ignore the holiness of the everyday as well as the experience of women. Images of shepherds and sheep may not be meaningful to people who have never seen a shepherd or a sheep!

Acknowledging the sacred in one’s day is also part of living fully and consciously. For example, appreciating the warmth of the partner lying next to you bed, the geese flying in V formation as they prepare to fly south, the pre-washed salad greens in our refrigerator, Bill raking the leaves, the copies of Diane’s book handed to a postal clerk and winding up in California days later.

In the spirit of acknowledging the holiness of everyday life, I want to pay tribute to our new garbage disposal. It feels miraculous to push table scraps down the kitchen drain and have them ground up with the flick of a switch. Thank you, to Vicki, for getting us used to your disposal last month in California, and to Bill for revealing that not having a disposal was the only thing he didn’t like about living with Nancy and me!

Becky

Tom at the Center for Grief, Loss and Transition

2007-10-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Last week Nancy & I met with Tom Ellis, the executive director of the Center for Grief, Loss and Transition in St. Paul, MN. It’s a nonprofit organization that offers therapy and education for complicated grief, trauma, and life transition. Tom has recently published a book called This Thing Called Grief: New Understandings of Loss. (Insert link www.tomellisbooks.com). Besides being full of wisdom and anecdotes from Tom’s therapy practice, this book offers practical tools for dealing with life’s blows.

Sudden, unexpected death, such as that experienced by the Twin Cities recently in the collapse of the 35W bridge over the Mississippi, involves much different challenges than death from illness or old age, when people have time to prepare, complete life and relationship tasks, and say their goodbyes.

Tom and the staff of the Center for Grief, Loss and Transition are doing wonderful work in Minnesota. Visit their website at www.griefloss.org.

A Miraculous Shift

2007-10-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

Nancy & I made a big decision last month. Our inventory of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond was getting low so we needed to print more books. But how many—2000? 3000? 4000?

As we edged into a five-figures price tag (we pay all book production costs), we gulped hard and put off the decision. Then Nancy talked with a friend who was part of her Living in Process training group. Carolyn said, “You know what I’d do? Print lots and give a bunch away. It’s the best way to spread the word.”

In a flash we knew that we should print 4000 and give books to agencies dealing with cancer, illness, living consciously, dying, and grieving. We (mostly I) had been so hung up on needing to break even on publishing the book that we (I) had forgotten the most important thing: Diane’s message of inspiration and hope. What better way to share Diane’s wisdom than to put the book into the hands of people who work with the ill and the dying!

We made the decision a week before we were to leave for California. With only one book event scheduled for our ten days there, the trip hardly seemed worth the effort. (One planned radio interview had fallen through.) Within 24 hours of deciding to donate books to agencies, three events sprang up.

My sister, Vicki, let us know that a class at the California Institute of Integral Studies was interested in a visit from us. We met with the teacher after we arrived, and that evening we spoke about Diane’s cancer journey to her Integrative Health Sciences class.

Next the program director of the Women’s Cancer Resource Center in Oakland invited us to visit the center. She also told us about the Charlotte Maxwell Complementary Clinic. We left a copy of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully with each agency.

And, finally, we learned about the Bay Area Breast Cancer Navigation Conference, for people who help those diagnosed with cancer navigate the medical system. The coordinator of the conference invited us to set up a table, and we gave away 40 copies! (Actually, my sister, Vicki and I attended as Nancy was sick that day.)

Nancy & I marvel at how once we let go of our financial concerns, opportunities to share Diane’s journey opened up. The miracles continue!

Becky Bohan